Well, so am I!
Sometimes, I am totally guilty of stalking my partner on Instagram. It is mentally draining. Not the healthiest of behavior, but most of us find ourselves in this situation.
Starting with that one time, you roam around Instagram, ending up at your partner’s page and there, a comment or two or three! Not sitting well with your spirit. So you run through almost all the comments and replies on his posts.
Promising yourself never to repeat this action because you hate how it’s making you react, but here you are again. Trying to convince yourself it’s not that big of a deal, just a once in a while thing — totally natural. Definitely does not qualify as stalking. Yet you detest the state this puts you in every time you go snooping.
So once again, you vow to stop this time for sure.
But did you? Or did it become worse?
Not that one time, nor is it once in a while thing anymore. Snooping around in that comment is occurring more than you might want to accept. No longer on just “reading comments and replies on his posts“ level, we are now on level crazy.
Gone pass the stage of checking likes and adding them to the comments – calculating how charitable they are with their engagements on your partner’s posts.
We are also passing the level of clicking on their profiles for comparison sake. Digging hard to a point of reviewing the activities on their pages! All for what purpose honey?!
Trying to discover if your partner is a free giver of likes and comments on their posts as well?
What help is this detective skill to you, other than ruining your mental state?
Oh, so now you know their family members, their close friends, their relationship status, their pets–if they have any, their favorite foods and things they love to do. Congratulations, you are a stalker.
At this level, you can write 10page essays on total strangers who are just Instagram friends of your partner.
Welcome to level crazy accompanied by the meltdowns, the insecurities that lead to the questions and the arguments, to the silent treatments and unnecessary awkwardness. The endless suspicions and worries of occurrences that may never be.
Do you enjoy the torture you are putting yourself through? The endless questions?
- Is she prettier than me? She looks prettier.
- Look at that body! There’s no way he doesn’t want that. Wait, does he wish to taste that?
- He has his shit together. Can I compete with this?
- That might be the man she actually desires
- Why am I even comparing myself to a stranger?
Unconsciously programming your mind to understand less. Here comes low self-esteem grooming your identity to fit into a profile of a picture that is not authentic. Take a minute to breathe, just breathe.
The days I catch myself stumbling down that path, talking to my partner is the next option and try to be as open as possible. I urge you to do the same, whether at the start or at level crazy with the meltdowns, still communicate with your partner.
Although, controlling what someone else does with their accounts on Instagram might be difficult. But, if you are in a respected relationship, your partner will limit the circumstances creating these insecurities.
Stalking your partner on Instagram hurts nobody but you. So breathe, and always know that you are enough.
By: Vanessa Omena